If you follow me on social, you already know. I'm quitting Facebook. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. I talked with a friend who got rid of her account a couple of years ago and she said it was the best thing that happened to her. I had every excuse in the book.
"I use it to connect with people. I need it for business. I'm a part of too many groups. I just can't."
Something within me was interested, though. I got curious. So, I deleted the app from my phone. It worked like a charm! I wasn't as triggered or anxious. I found I wasn't as angry. I didn't miss much and when I needed to see things, I was on it intentionally, not to scroll endlessly. Then, I joined an online training for my puppy (because COVID) and it was part of a Facebook group. We had to upload each session and I thought "it'll be much easier from my phone. What's the harm?"
Turns out, the harm was great. I didn't even see it until this week. My anxiety was back. My frustration. My anger. None of these innately are bad things... and .... I saw they were all stemming from one place. Facebook. There's so many point you could argue. I've done them all in my head.
Here's a few common ones:
1. Just delete the app on your phone again and go back to your computer! I could. I'm sure it would work fine. here's the thing. After adding it back in, I see just what a detriment it causes, regardless of what screen it's on.
2. Facebook isn't bad. It's what you are choosing to see. The algorithm has picked up on that. This one has honestly been the toughest for me. I've wanted to beat myself and say it's me and I'm choosing to see all the negative and not the good and I must say... that's actually not true. Ultimately, I know there is good. Facebook has allowed me to crowd source, to read articles I never would have read before, to connect with people from all over the world. I am aware of all the good. I'm also aware of all the division. the one sided-ness. the argumentativeness. The need to feel like you have to "catch up" on all the things. I'm also aware that none of us *really* know that darn algorithim, and from some research I've done... I don't like what I've read.
3. Don't you know the Instagram is owned by Facebook? Why not quit both? Yes, I'm aware. This is not a fight against Mark Zuckerberg. I'm not quitting Facebook because of that (though I don't love what he's doing in terms of politics and what posts he is/is not allowing... see point 2's final comment and do some research on your own). I'm quitting Facebook because it's just not working for me anymore and I don't see the point in staying on just for a couple of groups that I'm in. I'm quitting Facebook because it's time. I'ts been time. I also don't get the same feelings when I get off Instagram that I do on Facebook.
4. Can't you just only look at groups and nothing else? Have you tried that before? You know the vortex that is Facebook. Plus, that's like breaking up with someone but still wanting some on the side. If I do it, it's got to be clean and total.
5. But don't you need Facebook to run your yoga business? I suppose. It's also me running my business on a platform that's not mine. I'm better off trying to convince you all to subscribe to my weekly email newsletter. If I don't enjoy being on Facebook, that's going to seep through in the things I post even if I try not to. Why do business somewhere that's not mine and I don't want to be on anyway? I'm pretty new to this business thing, but even that makes sense to me
6. You'll be back. It's too addicting. I think that would be true if I weren't getting rid of my account totally. I could see if I put it on pause how easy it would be to just "get on that one time."
If you know me, you know I've moved a lot, and when we (my husband and I) make the decision to move, I inevitably am "not quite ready to go." I want to hang on a bit longer. When we left Bellingham, I waited a month before I moved to SF. When we left SF, I waited a month before we moved to Bainbridge. When we left SEattle, I waited 4 months before I moved out to Pateros. Each time, I clung to the life I had. and because of it, I missed out on the life that was right in front of me. This doesn't make me bad or wrong... it does make me super aware that this is my default. My dad said when we moved from Florida back to Washington when I was little, I hid in a cupboard so I wouldn't have to go. My attachment history goes way back.
I'm learning that when it's time to go, it's time to really go. Dragging my feet isn't going to help. Second guessing myself isn't going to help. What will help is me listening to myself and trusting my gut and going for it. And I guess that's what this is. It's a reminder that even though there's all these reasons to stay... it's time to go. And so I'm going. Will I miss things? Sure. Or maybe not. I don't know yet. All I know is, I feel freer just thinking about it. All I know is, I'm already connecting to people in new ways that aren't over one more social media platform. I'm already thinking more creatively. And I've got more time now that I'm not letting it be filled with a bunch of *mostly* useless nonsense.
If COVID and quarantine and this weird year that is 2020 have taught me anything, it's that I always have the choice of how I want to spend my time... and it turns out I like having a little more downtime and a little less crazy busy time. It's a bit uncomfortable for me not to be going 1,000 miles an hour... and that just means I'm in a growth zone. I'll take it.
Here's to the challenge that is 2020 and to leaning into all the growth and leveling up and living life fully regardless of what comes our way.
see ya on Instagram, suckers!